Someone's Always Watching

David Skidmore once told me I wouldn't hit peak influence until I was in my 60s.

"What a relief," I thought, "I've got plenty of time to get my crap together before anyone is watching me."

So imagine my horror in being selected as one of 405 Business Magazine’s most influential people in the metro. I felt so conflicted. While I was honored, I also immediately thought gosh, what am I influencing others to do?!

We so often confuse influence and power. We forget that leadership isn't actually a job title, it's your day-to-day actions. 

"It's easy to find yourself in a place of power," 405 Business Editor Kayte Spillman said in the issue. "It's much harder to be influential."

Kayte defines the influencers in the issue as "those who take their position of leadership and use it to mold, shape, inspire and propel their spheres of influence forward." 

It's in line with how I defined influence in coming up with our Wildly Capable pledge for Hundred Magazine. The women highlighted there are influencers not because of their follower count, but because of the way they call up everyone they encounter. 

And perhaps that conflicted feeling I had when I learned of the nomination is the same one so many Hundred honorees feel that leads to the flood of email responses saying some version of "I'm not worthy." 

While I used to think that was a product of a culture that so often tells women they're not enough, I recognize now that perhaps women just feel afraid to be someone others look up to. It's one thing to feel like we might be doing it wrong, but another thing entirely to think someone's watching.

But someone's always watching. They're watching even before you have your crap together. 

Standing among a couple hundred other influential people at the magazine's reception and cover reveal, I was shoulder-to-shoulder with so many other people I have personally watched over the years. And I was humbled to share space with them, not because of their impressive resumes, but because I know they've also failed hard, owned their mistakes and tried again.

So wherever you are right now in your approach to "peak influence," this is your reminder that someone is always watching. It matters not that you're doing it wrong. It only matters that you're doing it.